Mixed feelings

Hello all you folks out there. It has been awhile since I have posted anything. Of course a ton of stuff has happened. We inherited a new dog, her name is Doughnut. She is adorable and very well behaved thanks to my sister Zoe. Poor Zoe. She was heartbroken about giving up the dog, but for the well being of her marriage she gave her to us. Chad is in love and so is Doughnut. It is actually very sweet. He calls her sweetheart and snuggle her. I find this remarkable since he never really was an "animal" person. We now have a cat and a dog, both girls. He is becoming more and more outnumbered. Ha!

Today is Halloween. I have never been a fan. I was raised believing that it was the devil's holiday. I don't believe that but still not my favorite. As a child we only dressed up once that I remember and it was for some parade. We were gypsies. I think it may have had something to do with being in Brownies and Girl Scouts. I will have to ask Sunshine, she might remember. I do like to carve pumpkins. I never carved one as a kid, but I am pretty good at it as an adult. Halloween still has a bad connotation. I think this is in my head. I've created this feeling for myself related to a very traumatic event in my life. Sometimes I think I enjoy linking this trauma to events, like Halloween. I know I'm being vague. Someday maybe I will write about it and link all of the events to the trauma-who knows. It's one of those "magical thinking" things. Has anyone read that book? The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. It is a very interesting book. It talks about "magical thinking", you know when you create cause and effect relationships in your head that aren't actually based in reality. I think it is a female thing. Anyway I think I have a copy somewhere. Maybe I should re-visit it.


On a happier note, my beloved brother Gideon was home this weekend.  It was so nice to have him close by even if it was for just a few days. I miss him horribly. We had a great weekend that included me not working(yippee!), celebrating my brother's birthday, getting my hair done, a family wedding, sleeping in a tiny bit, hanging with my family and lots of eating. I need to plan a trip to California at some point soon to see Webster West.


It has been a busy few weeks and I know as the daylight hours grow shorter this year races to a close. Why does time move so fast? I never believed my parents when they said these things but boy is it true.

My old man

So this has been a rough week. I put my dog to sleep. His name was Hawthorne and he was 16 1/2 years old. I know these things are never easy having worked in veterinary medicine for many years, but I truly wanted him to just go in his sleep. I received him as a gift from my husband before we were married. He has been with me through my entire marriage up until this point. It seems corny but I feel like another safe thing in my life is gone. Somehow Hawthorne and my marriage are linked. He was a good dog. I never had to worry about him interacting with kids or other animals. I never worried about him running off. He was loyal, happy to just lie at my feet or follow me around. A true friend. Animals really do become part of our lives. When we came back from the vet's office my heart sank when I realized he wouldn't be waiting for me.